Grief: how to survive and support
In this modern society, we have very poor coping strategies for grief. We can write a letter of condolence, send flowers, drop over a casserole, but face to face, often we freeze. Rather than saying “I’m so sorry, can I do anything to help?”, there is a common tendency to offer pointless platitudes about time healing all hurt, and then running away. Because we are uncomfortable with emotion and feel helpless in the face of something which we cannot help.
If you or anyone who you know has experienced a loss, be that of a partner, family member, pet, or even the loss of a relationship or friendship, there will be grieving, loss, and emotions relating to these processes. We will all lose a loved one at some point. It would behoove us all to become better at recognising how to accept grief, how to support others who are grieving, and not just believe that life will move on, but understand that life will move on with a person shaped hole, which is now how that life must learn to function.
This article is a short one, with many links, as I kept coming up against podcasts, books and articles all about grief. I am hoping that this is not a prescient ideal that I may need to grieve myself, although it is inevitable. I believe that we could all do with some support in learning how to process and support our grieving and that of those around us.
Huberman Lab is one of my favourite podcasts, and this is no exception. I have linked to the website rather than the podcast, as he also have listed some useful articles, and you can click on the podcast from this link. The first half is very science based, the second half fascinating.
Peter Attia’s “The Drive” is often a high science version of health advice, but this podcast is very human and very relatable. He interviews Kelsey Chittick, on how she has managed life after the death of her husband, her grief and her methods of moving forward.
A good read to cover a few aspects of how we view and experience grief, from the perspective of the philosophers.
A discussion of prolonged grief: “grief isn’t something like a subscription plan where one signs up for 12 months, and when time comes to an end the healing is done, and one can simply choose to “unsubscribe.”
Maria Sirois wrote this lovely and helpful book after her brother died. I have gifted this book many times, and have found it helpful for myself, but also to help others.
A fabulous book with good advice, real life relatable stories, and ways to help heal.
There are obviously many more articles, podcasts and books on this topic, but these came to find me recently, so I believe that there may be people out there needing this help.
If you need help with managing how grief is affecting your health, please consider booking in for a naturopathic consultation with me, to help with sleep, energy, anxiety or any other topic. I also have an experienced counsellor in my clinic and can refer on as appropriate.